• Jasmin

On Relationships

As we grow up, our relationships will try their best to adapt to our changing life experiences. Sometimes they will flourish and other times they will fail. Over the course of my early 20's I've recited the Drake line fuck a fake friend, where my real friends at far too many times to count. It's a funny thing to reflect on relationships in your 20's, much like anything in this era because they're all over the place and constantly evolving. People are changing for better (or for worse) and so are the relationships that tie them together.

Lately, I’ve got to thinking about relationships. Spurred by a recurring theme in my conversations with my therapist, I’ve come to realize the importance of maintaining healthy relationships as we tackle life and venture in our own self-discovery. The transition from freelance to a full-time career has shifted my priorities and consequently left me with significantly less free time. Two days in a weekend is simply not enough time. For that reason, I am hyper aware of the people who make the conscious decision to be in my life—because I know how easy it is to get swept up in the day-to-day responsibilities of adulthood.

Relationships either evolve or die out in the natural selection of growing up. As they face the demands and pressure of adulthood, these friendships and relationships will be put to the test. Some people will grow with you and others will go for the door.

People you consider a best friend might blow you off and stop taking your calls. Your once trifled relationship with your parents might evolve into a patient and loving friendship. You might even reconcile with an ex in the name of #growth or explore the boundaries of a complicated romantic friendship. It's all part of the process and of growing up.

I’m slowly coming to learn through trial and error, that not everybody shares the same values as you, thus people will always come to disappoint you- but only if you let them. Humans are messy, unpredictable, and sometimes selfish, and 80% of the time their responses are a projection of whatever is going on in their life.

As much as it sucks to see friendships fizzle out and not receive the same kind of love and energy you give to others, it shouldn't invalidate the relationships you do have. Be thankful for the "real ones" who show up and inspire you to be a better sibling, daughter, friend, or partner.

At 25, my friend circle has roughly shrank to half its size from ten years ago. Boyfriends have come and gone and family bonds have strengthened through pain and loss. At the end of the day, love is fleeting and relationships will alter over the course of our life but what we choose to take from them will shape our future ones.