• Jasmin

No, Millennials Haven’t Ruined Romance, They Just Have New Rules

The laundry list of things that millennials have ruined seems to grow exponentially by the week. Romance, however, is not ruined nor dead—it's just rewritten.

Since the days of dial-up, the internet has been an influential force in the ways in which people connect and form social relationships. Although much has changed since then (I’m looking at you, Wi-Fi), the same concept still remains. Still, people are quick to decry modern dating habits as the downfall of society; the modern equivalent of an angry old man shaking his fist in the air yelling, “You darn kids!” Yes, social media has drastically changed the game and habits of new generational love hopefuls, but it’s nothing to get caught up about. Millennials haven’t ruined romance, they’ve simply rewritten the rules.

Rule One: There are no rules but your own

Don’t text first, wait at least 20 minutes to respond, don’t be too available. Gossip magazines and even your closest friends will try to dictate guidelines for carrying yourself if you want to (successfully) find romance. The truth is, there is no one-size-fits-all dating method. If you want to walk into a dirty dive bar on college night and shoot your shot, then by all means do you. Same goes for if you decided to redownload Tinder for the tenth time to swipe your life away from the comfort of your cushy memory foam mattress. No shame in the game. A wise person once said, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Rule Two: Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there

The same people angrily waving their first in the air will say online dating is a shallow and vapid last resort to dating. But think about this for a second: when you spot a physically attractive person in the real world, is your instinct to approach them not primarily driven by an attraction to their exterior appearance? I’ll wait. Yeah, first impressions do matter; both in real life and online. So go ahead and work on yourself, and your flex game. But please, no cat-fishing.

Rule Three: Stay true to yourself and your expectations

Online dating has quite literally rewritten the rules of communication in dating. And just like any other form of dating—it comes with its own set of issues. The good news is that it puts you at the center of control. It not only encourages you to take the initiative in your dating life, but it also gives you a vehicle to discover what you want and are looking for. Sure, there’s ghosting and plenty of douches saturating the online dating market, but there’s also endless opportunities to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right. Or at the very least, Mr. or Mrs. Right Now.